Expect the Unexpected
by itzrausllytrez
Summary: After an intense video chat, Carly and Freddie come out to visit Sam. Except, this time, they have a bomb to drop - they're dating. Sam's worst nightmare has officially come true. Seddie. Based after #TheKillerTunaJump. One-shot.


**_A/N: So, I wrote this like four months ago ..._**

**_ Disclaimer: I don't own Sam & Cat, Carly Shay, Freddie Benson, or the Taylor Swift song "Speak Now." Continue! ;D_**

"Can I _pleeeaaase_ be there when you videochat with Freddie and Carly?"

I sighed, rubbing my temple. "Cat, if I say yes, will you shut up?"

"Yeah."

"Then yes."

Cat squealed, throwing her arms around me. "Yaaaay! Thank you so much, Sam!"

I shrugged her off me. "Yeah, whatever. Just come on. Carly said she'd start the call right about, you know, now."

Cat followed me to our combined room, gushing about something Robbie said at school today. I didn't really listen, although I vaguely caught the words "officially dating." Hm. Good for them.

I pulled my red and white laptop out from under my bed and loaded up the videochat website Carly was obsessed with. For some reason she ordered Freddie to chat with us, a total first. I was kind of dreading it. We hadn't spoken since he went back to Seattle. Or since that night at the hospital, really. And even then we just made empty promises. Like always.

The videochat request popped up and I clicked it, not even glancing at it. I already knew it was Carly. It was always Carly.

Well, usually.

Cat literally jumped in surprise, but quickly recovered. "Hii, Freddie! How are your wounds?"

He laughed. "Hey, Cat. And, um, they're okay. Sam?"

I snapped out of my daze, feeling like a complete and utter idiot. "Hey, Benson. I thought you were Carly."

He rolled his eyes. "Well, that's nice. Actually, I wanted to ask you if you knew why Carly ordered this group chat. Usually it's just one-on-one because she's afraid we'll start fighting."

I nodded. "Yeah. Well, sorry, boy, but I dunno why. She was being really mysterious about it, though." Just then I got yet another chat request, although this time it was Carly. I raised my eyebrows at Freddie before accepting. I closed the old chat window, pretending not to feel Cat shaking with excitement beside me.

"CARLY SHAY!" Cat screamed, practically deafening me. I covered my ear with my hand, turning to glare at her. She blushed a light shade of pink, but still beamed at Carly.

Carly smiled. "Hi. You're Cat, right? It's nice to officially meet you."

Cat grinned, bobbing her head like a bobble head. "Yeah, you too! You were my favorite on iCarly."

"Gee, thanks," I muttered darkly. Freddie snickered.

"Aw, thank you. So, I'm really sorry to have to do this, but I need to talk to Sam and Freddie alone. If you could maybe please ... yanno ... leave ..."

Cat's shoulders slumped. "Oh, okay. Bye, guys," she sulked, dragging herself out of the room. I raised an eyebrow at Carly once the door shut behind her.

"What was that for?" I asked, appalled.

Carly sighed. "Sorry, Sam. But this is important, and I want you two to be the first to know."

I glanced at Freddie, who shrugged. I exhaled, resting my chin in my hands. "Spill the beans, Shay."

She shook her head. "Nope. Not until you two tell me what's going on between you!"

I groaned. I should have known this was coming. "Nothing's going on, Carls."

She shook her head. "I know that's not true. So just tell me! Please? I thought we swore we wouldn't keep things from each other anymore."

"Five years ago!" Freddie and I shouted in unison.

"A promise is still a promise," she insisted, grinning. "So, speak, children!" She clapped her hands together for emphasis.

Instead of speaking, however, I closed out of the chat.

. . .

It's been a week since the videochat. I hadn't heard a single peep from Freddie or Carly. I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Maybe both, knowing them.

"Ding dong," Cat said with a giggle as the doorbell went off. I stared at her for a moment but shrugging and heading over to answer it.

"It's probably just the kids we're watching today. They're babies, Cat, so go grab the-" I cut off abruptly when I saw who was really at the door, though.

Carly and Freddie.

Cat let out one of her famous squeaks. "Oh my God, iCarly's reunited! This is so awesome. I can't wait to tell Robbie and Jade!"

I ignored her, staring at the two brunettes standing in front of me. "What in the world are you guys doing here?"

Carly beamed at me. "Hi, Sam! And I came to tell you the great news in person."

I looked at Freddie before turning back to Carly. "Um. What great news?"

Carly held up her and Freddie's entwined hands. "Freddie and I are dating!"

I swallowed back bile, which, by the way, is very disgusting. "You're dating?" My voice was about twenty octaves higher than usual. Even higher than Melanie's, which is saying something.

Carly nodded, almost warily. "Yesss," she said, stretching out the 's.' "We actually started dating before Freddie flew out here to see if you were okay. Isn't this amazing?"

I blew past Cat, who was gaping at us by the couch, to the kitchen. Then, opening the garbage can, I puked up everything I had eaten that day. Which was actually a lot ... Hello again, fried chicken. We haven't spoken in awhile.

"Sam, are you all right?" Freddie asked quietly. I jerked my head up in shock. I hadn't even known he was standing there. I nodded slowly, putting the trash can's lid back on and "casually" plopping down on the sofa.

"So. Carly and Freddie. Freddie and Carly." I exhaled deeply, trying to ignore the stabbing pain that seemed to appear whenever I thought of them together. "Isn't this awesome?" I asked Cat, but my voice shook a bit.

My redheaded friend shook her head. "Not really."

I ignored her. Again. "How'd it happen?" I pressed the happy couple, swallowing back another bunch of vomit. I'm really regretting practically inhaling those delicious meatballs Cat made earlier. I really am.

Carly smiled brightly, still clutching Freddie's hand. When had he walked back to where she was?!

Oh, well. "We were videochatting and I accidentally blurted out that I liked him." Carly blushed a little but she kept going. "He said he liked me, too, and boom, we were officially dating."

I couldn't help it. I gagged. Cat, noticing this, quickly grabbed a paper bag and held it nearby. I shoved her away, sitting up straighter. I had to look like I didn't care. No need to make them -any of my friends- suspicious. I didn't feel like participating in an interrogation. I already got two when I checked myself into that stupid mental hospital a few years ago. At least they served amazing quesadillas. Made the entire "trip" worthwhile.

"Have you even kissed yet?" I asked, unable to help myself. So, I was curious if my best friends were swapping spit. Sue me.

Carly delicately raised an eyebrow. Sheesh, no wondering why Benson was crazy about her. Everything she did was perfect. "Um, a couple times. Why?"

"No reason," I said breezily, picking at my nails. Wasn't it funny how you could say one thing automatically and think something totally different? For example, when I said "no reason" I was really thinking, "What's wrong with you two? You don't belong together! Do we have to visit Troubled Waters again, or ...?"

So. Yeah.

I eventually realized that Freddie wasn't really saying anything. This must be awkward for him. You know, announcing that he's dating his ex-girlfriend again to his other ex-girlfriend who he said he loved and who saved his life. Not to mention the fact that both the girls are best friends, practically sisters.

Then again, his entire life is awkward.

Might as well make it even more awkward. What can I say? Revenge should be my middle name, instead of Joy. Like, really, Mom? Samantha wasn't bad enough?

"Aye, Benson. Usually you can't shut up about you geeky text junk and now you're not saying anything. Cat got your tongue?" I asked, smirking.

"My name is Cat," Cat muttered with a gasp. I swatted her arm. What? I didn't want her changing the subject.

Freddie seemed dazed, which was saying something. Eh, he was probably just daydreaming about his precious Carly. Wonder how he's going to propose to her and when. Jeez, Cat will be shoving that Taylor Swift song, Speak Now, down my throat when that occurs.

"Benson!" I yelled, tossing a pillow at him. Okay, so I was angry. Can you blame me? He came out here and didn't even bother to tell me he was officially dating my best friend. I wanted to kill him right now! But I was in love with him, so I decided against it. Well, you never know. There is a tiny chance he and Carly could break up and I'd happily offer my shoulder for him to cry on. After I hit him a couple times for being such an idiot by getting back together with her. When they didn't work out the first time they should have given up on it!

I guess the same thing could be said about me and Freddie, though. But be careful unless you live near a hospital. And besides, we're different. Ish.

He said he loved me.

Although I bet he's already told Carly that a million, billion, trillion times.

"Thanks, Sam," he grumbled sarcastically, throwing the pillow back at me. I narrowly dodged it, totally forgetting that a certain perky redhead was standing. right behind me. Oops.

"Ow!" Cat cried out as the pillow hit the ground. After hitting her, of course. I didn't see what the big deal was, though. I mean, it's just a freakin' pillow. Not a solid brick.

Carly uncomfortably cleared her throat. "All right, you guys. Enough banter."

Enough dating my ex-boyfriend, I thought bitterly.

It turns out Freddie and Carly had brought food. I had been so wrapped up in their annoying relationship I hadn't even noticed. Shocking, right? Anyway, we all sat at the counter and ate. Freddie and Carly started being all cutesy and I started retching again. Cat patted my back reassuringly but I shrugged her off.

I finally couldn't take it anymore. Well, what would you do if you saw the guy you love flirting with your best friend and said beer friend flirting back? If you're anything like me, you puked up your breakfast and lunch and in-between meal, but yanno.

"Shut up, all right?!" I screamed, causing Cat to jump about two feet in the air in surprise. Sorry, Cat. "You two make me sick!"

Carly's face fell. "Why?"

I clenched my fists. "Because! You're supposedly my best friend, Carly, and you're dating my ex! Isn't there some kind of rule against that in your stupid girl handbook or whatever it is?"

"But didn't Carly and Freddie date before you and Freddie started going out?" Cat interjected, not-so-helpfully.

"Not the time, Cat," I snapped. She whimpered, but I didn't even feel bad.

Carly and Freddie exchanged a quick glance before smiling simultaneously. Gag. "I think my work here is done," Carly said happily, hopping up. I stood up, too, confused.

"What work?" I was trying to keep my tone, y'know, venomous or whatever it's called, but it was hard. I hated being angry at Carly.

"Freddie and I teamed up after you left the videochat that day. We decided I would come out here and we would pretend to date to see if you got jealous. Which, ahem, you did."

I flushed furiously. I pretty much looked like a tomato. Wait, ew. I hate tomatoes. No one even knows what the little freaks of nature are. Fruit? Veggie? Either way, they're flipping gross. "I wasn't jealous," I denied. To be honest, I half-expected Carls to pull out her handy-dandy cell phone and tweet SamPuckett # lolno . I wasn't usually suckish liar, either. They just completely caught me off guard.

"Surrrrre," Carly said slowly, winking at me. "Face it, Sam. You still like Freddie."

"No, I-"

"Don't worry," she whispered, winking again. "I know for a fact that the feeling is mutual." And with that she latched onto Cat's arm and gently pulled her outside to where my motorcycle was, therefore leaving Freddie and I alone.

Thanks, Carls. Thanks a lot.

"Sam, I'm really sorry," Freddie said immediately.

I raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"T-Teaming up with Carly," he stutter nervously.

I smirked, suddenly feeling a lot more confident. "Oh, it's fine. But," I took a step forward before continuing, "do you think I seriously still have feelings for you?"

He flushed, but still didn't break eye contact. "Well-"

"Because if you do," I murmured, taking another step forward. "You're correct."

And then I kissed him.


End file.
